"The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

Source: Here in Hanover web article

Ok, my lovelies! It's the most wonderful time of the year! Of course, I'm talking about that special time in which we gather around the table--- and eat. Then, we eat some more.

Don't judge me; I know I'm not the only one that absolutely, positively, LOVES the delicious good eats that comes with holiday dining. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the parties that come with it all - I'm in there. Well, at least I was before the days of Covid-19 and social distancing replaced large gatherings.

Still, social distancing doesn't replace our need for etiquette. Quite frankly, I feel we're going to need it even more once this is all over.

Manners still matter. They really, really do.

So here we are. You've been invited over to a friend or family member's home for the holidays and you can't wait to get there – and dig in! Matter of fact, just the thought of all that good food has your mouths watering. Umm, Umm, good. Hoping the paper plates are strong, I'm right there with you. Just one thing though before we go, and that is...let's talk about manners.

We already know it is just plain rude to be critical of our hosts, right? (If you've forgotten already or happened to miss it earlier, rewind to the Ms. Manners Un-posted "Mind Your Manners" article https://www.wjhymes.com/post/unposted-mind-your-manners ). We already know to be polite with what we say, but how about what we do and what we should NOT do – as an invited guest.

If dinner is held as a formal event, there are a few things to keep in mind that will make it a bit easier for you to just relax, sit back, and enjoy your meal while socializing. Starting with the place settings itself. Say, for instance, you're sitting down to a three-course meal. Your place setting may contain two forks, two spoons (maybe even three), and perhaps two knives. The setting diagram below shows - beginning with the eating utensil furthest out, where your meal begins.

Formal Place Setting (Source: www.etiquettescholarcom)

For example, your first course will more than likely be your salad and/or soup. Easy, peasy! Start with the fork that is the furthest away from your plate to eat your salad. The same goes for the spoons shown on your right – begin your first course with the one furthest away from your plate. If by chance your host decides to be fancy and include an extra salad knife, you will use that to cut your salad if needed. Otherwise, it is perfectly acceptable to use the same knife when eating your salad. Typically, the fork tines will face upward for American style dining and down for Continental.

Next up is your entree, the main meal. You know, the one you've been secretly craving since you first got the invite! Move to the next fork (not the one you used for your salad), once the host serves the main dish. This one is known as your dinner fork and is paired with the dinner knife, shown on the opposite side of your plate. Umm – now we're getting somewhere. Right? Yeahhh, boy – we're talking the meat and potatoes of the meal, here.

By now, you've sailed halfway through the food and you're ready to quench your thirst. But wait! "Which drink is mine?" you may be wondering.

I remember thinking the same thing years ago when attending one of my daughter's sorority events. The table was set and the women were all fabulously dressed in their pretty pearls. I dared NOT forget my manners. I mean, I've got great manners, 'ya know – after all, I am an etiquette coach. But, for one split second, I had to do a double-take at the table when noticed my water glass had moved. Did the person to my right grab my glass? That was mine, right?! Think, think. Yep, that was mine. I quietly summoned the waiter over and requested a fresh glass of water. See, no worries. And most definitely, no need to cause a scene.

You need not worry either, you've got it covered. Just remember this – 'B and D'. Sounds weird, I know. In my head during my daughter's event, I visualized the letters b and d.

'B and D' (Source: www.twincities.com)

"B and D. What's that?"

'B and D' is a simple trick taught by etiquette coaches where diners are told to form a lower case letter b with their left hand, and a lower case letter d with their right hand. The 'b' is for bread and the 'd' is for drink.

Now, look at where your formed letters are pointing. If you're doing it right, 'b' is pointing to your bread, and 'd' is pointing to your drink. This little trick is sure to spare you the embarrassment of drinking from another guest's water glass, as the unsuspecting person did on my end!

Oh yeah, rule of thumb. You may want to be as inconspicuous as possible when using 'B and D' to remind yourself which one is yours – like, maybe under the table. I'm just saying. I can only imagine the looks I would have gotten at the table if otherwise. Not to mention the embarrassment I would have caused myself. Geesh.

Thinking back, it could have been worse though. The other guest could have grabbed my dessert! Then, it would've been on, manners or not. Ha! (By the way, saving the best for last, your dessert utensils are placed at the top of your place setting.)

Now - Bon Appétit and don't forget to mind your manners!